Sparkling New Feature

I've had quite a few thoughts about this blog since publishing the mind-bogglingly entertaining first post:

1. I've decided to introduce a sort of Jenn-o-meter, so you can get an idea of how I'm feeling just by looking at the title of my blog. By telling you which famous or possibly not-so-famous personality, character, etc. is "in da House" for each post, you'll be able to gauge how I'm feeling about my weight loss journey. For example, today Mama Grape is in da House, ensuring that the blog will be full of vitriole, profanity, self-doubt and generally negative statements. On the other side of the coin, when Kate Moss is in da House you should use the post as story-time fodder for your small children, because you can bet your sweet fanny it'll be full of sunshine and kittens.

2. I would like to find a way to have a height goal instead of a weight goal. I mean, if I were 6'6", I'd be perfectly proportionate. If the diet industry can crack this one, I'll be the first to invest.

3. I'm quite pleased with the comments on my first post, and am very grateful for all the encouragement. I did have one comment from a lovely gent who wants me not to beat myself up. David, I adore you for posting this. I'm afraid, however, that beat myself up I shall, until I am able to put this demon back in its box. I can absolutely assure you that I do not hate myself -- I just hate the behaviors I've indulged in. If I hated myself, I most certainly would not be dropping this kind of cash on yet another weight loss program. I just want to hit the back nine of my life with improved health. A smoking hot pair of tits would be nice, too.

This brings me to the program. The supplies have arrived, and now the big question is "do I start right away, or do I wait for Monday?" Monday is the day I'd like to weigh in, because there's a psychological edge to entering the dangerous weekend period knowing your fat ass has to get on a scale on Monday. BUT, and this is a big but(t), if I wait until Monday, God alone knows what sort of garbage I'll throw down my gullet over the next few days. I could start my diet up 5 lbs. from where I was when I decided to go on a diet in the first place! Dear readers, I look to you for guidance.